Change Sucks. And Then It Transforms.
If you’re in an uncomfortable, hard, or downright terrible season of your life right now where everything feels like it’s changing, this message is for you:
CHANGE SUCKS.
Literally. It sucks away everything you thought you knew, the people you thought were closest to you, the comfort you used to have.
It sucks—and then it spins everything upside down. It makes you question yourself, your decisions, your relationships, your values.
Here's the reality no one talks about:
If you left a “stable” job to go do your own thing, you’re going to have days where you question your sanity, your talent, your career path. You’ll look at your bank account and feel terrified. You’ll pitch a client and not get the gig and it’ll feel awful. Someone won’t pay you on time and you’ll have a mini meltdown. You’ll struggle to create structure in your day-to-day life. You’ll have days where you get absolutely nothing done at all. You'll feel directionless. You'll feel like a failure.
If you left the place you call home to move to a new town or city, you’ll wonder if you belong. If you’ll ever make friends or build community. If you have what it takes to build a family away from your family. You’ll wonder if you got ripped off on that apartment deal, or if any of the people back home miss you. You’ll go back home for the first time and feel different; it’ll make you feel disconnected and out of place. You’ll wonder where you truly belong.
If you left a relationship, you’re going to have days where you wonder if it was the right decision. You’re going to watch the person who used to be your best friend move on and be fine without you. You’ll wonder if you meant anything at all. That person who used to know everything about you will soon become a stranger—and you’ll wonder whether you belong anywhere, to anyone. You’ll date again and it’ll probably be terrible. You’ll fall asleep alone with tears trickling quietly down your cheeks. You'll have moments where you feel so lonely that it physically hurts. You’ll go to weddings by yourself and wonder if that kind of love is in store for you—if love will find you, and if you deserve for it to. You’ll question everything...and the hardest thing will be when you doubt how lovable you are.
If you decided to drop a bad habit, you will have days when your body literally goes into shock from the change. You’ll have moments when your mind tells you to quit because you don’t have what it takes to change. Waking up earlier will be painful. Going for a run will feel like death. Quitting smoking will send you into literal withdrawals. Keeping a budget will feel mundane. Eating cleaner will make you wish you were okay being unhealthy, because damn, donuts and bacon taste better than an apple and lean chicken ever will.
If you made a change in your life and you're going through the inevitably uncomfortable impact of that decision right now, this is just a little reminder:
OF COURSE IT SUCKS.
It's sucking away your comfort, your stability, your balance, your security, and your confidence.
There's a big, empty space where there once used to be a stable paycheck, comfort food, a significant other, a familiar home, a clear career path, and numbing habits.
That space feels intimidating and downright scary right now. And it'll make you question everything.
But one day, some day soon, that space will fill again.
You will feel the financial and emotional reward of taking a leap and changing your career. You will reap the benefits of exercise, getting up early, eating better, drinking and smoking less, paying off your debt. You will learn that you can make friends anywhere, and that you belong wherever you decide you want to build a life. Your heart will heal, and you will fall in love again. At the very least, you'll learn to love yourself again—and that alone will feel pretty damn good.
Most importantly you'll look back on this moment in your life and it will make sense one day. The heartache, the self-doubt, the loneliness, the fear, and the pain of change will all perfectly fit into the mosaic that your life becomes—beautiful, broken pieces that, when put together, will create the most stunning piece of work you've ever seen.
That stunning piece of work is your life.
So while you're in this season of picking up the shattered pieces, remember this:
The moments when you think you're most broken are actually when you start to come together in just the way you were meant to.