How My Approach to Goal-Setting Has Changed
It’s the beginning of a new year, and ‘tis the season for making resolutions. But, resolutions are a trap—they are nice ideas wrapped in expectation, which is a recipe for disaster. And here’s a fresh take while we’re at it: Goals are a trap, too.
I used to strongly advocate for setting goals, but over the past few years, I’ve started to see how corrosive they can be. I still set goals to serve as north stars for me, but I structure them quite differently these days.
Here's my refined take on goals, and how I've changed the way I incorporate them into my life.
A refined approach to goals.
One of my favorite thinkers is Basecamp Co-founder Jason Fried. I interviewed Jason back in 2013, and ever since, I've loved following his work and reading his writing. In one of Jason's articles he explains why he never sets goals—personal or business.
The gist: Goals are basically made up targets that actually end up unintentionally discouraging us at times, or making us feel bad if we don't hit them perfectly as planned. It also keeps us in an "achievement" mindset, taking away from the enjoyment of the actual journey of learning, building, and trying new things. In his book ***It Doesn't Have to Be Crazy At Work***, Jason notes that we set goals for the person we are when we set them, not for the person we're going to be when we try to accomplish them one day in the future. Therefore, whenever we set goals, we're limiting ourselves to what we think will matter later based on what we know now, closing off possibilities down the road.
I still see the value in having goals, but this line of thinking has catalyzed a shift for me in how I incorporate them into my life. Here are my evolved thoughts:
1. Identify what will ALWAYS matter to you.
Goals are still useful because, even though we can't predict the future, we should have a broad idea about what will always matter to us. For me, those things are: physical health, intellectual growth, relationship nourishment, financial stability and abundance, and life-expanding adventures. I may change my mind about strategy, details, and priority order, but I'm confident these things will always be important to me.
Example #1: I wouldn't have invested in cryptocurrencies three years ago, but I'm increasingly clear on the importance and value now, so my investment strategy will shift along with my thinking. What hasn't changed: Financial stability and abundance matter greatly to me.
Example #2: I used to think intermittent fasting was unhealthy, but after a lot of research and experimentation, I've learned it's one of the best things for my body, for now. This may not be true forever, and I'll continue to experiment and iterate my whole life as my body and knowledge changes, but it's great for me right now. What hasn't changed: Being physically healthy will always be a priority.
2. Treat annual, seasonal, and monthly goals differently.
At an annual level, focus on the broad ideas. If physical health is important to you, set an intention for the year related to your body. Examples: Build a more pliable body, train like an elite athlete, eat a predominantly whole foods plant-based diet. Treat your broad annual goal ideas like north stars, reminding you of what matters most (e.g. being healthy, strong, energetic, etc).
At the seasonal level, focus on strategy. What feels out of balance? What part of your life needs more attention and nourishment? What feels heavy that can be made lighter? What would most positively impact how you feel about your life, your relationships, and the world? These are the questions you should ask to help you identify a more specific strategy for the next 90 days. Example: If you've been training for a marathon and you feel exhausted every day, your seasonal goal may be building a nutrition and training plan specifically focused on boosting energy levels for your unique body. you may decide you want to hire a coach or trainer for the season, or change something about your diet. Every season, rethink your strategy.
At the monthly level, emphasize execution. Think very tactically. Get specific. What exactly are you going to change? What can you differently on a daily basis? What specific resources or support do you need to make it happen? When will you make time on your calendar to execute? Break things down to the micro-task level. Aim to have each task take you between 30-120 minutes. Aim to do one task each day.
3. Focus on only ONE goal commitment each month.
I used to have 8 goals a month. Then it was three, then two, and now I'm down to one. It's not that I don't have multiple things I'm working on at any given time. It's just that now, I only make ONE COMMITMENT each month. I choose the most important goal—the one thing that would make me feel the best and help me drive the most impactful outcomes if I focused on it over the next 30 days. There is immense power in focus. What is the #1 most important thing? Put all of your energy behind that, and make it a non-negotiable goal.
4. Optimize for the feeling, not the accomplishment.
I deeply resonate with the main premise of Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map strategy: Focus not on what you want to achieve, but how you want to FEEL. Behind any goal we set is a desire to feel a certain way. The challenge is that classic goal-setting focuses heavily on the "doing," and sometimes we end up chasing a goal that doesn't make us feel the way we want to feel.
This happens a lot with the conflation between making money and feeling happy/content. If you start with how you want to FEEL first ("I want to feel content. What would most help me feel that way?") You may find that it would actually be more impactful for you to meditate or develop and evening gratitude practice than trying to earn more money. Start with how you want to FEEL, and you'll save yourself a lot of time and heartache down the road.
5. Lead goals > Lag goals
I take Jason Fried's perspective to heart: Setting goals can set you up for failure because most of the time, they are arbitrary and kind of pointless. I think the trap starts with setting lag-centric goals. Think of "lags" as the end result—it usually involves multiple steps and tasks, and there are often elements you can't control embedded in them.
For example, a lag goal would be something like, "Lose 20 pounds." This is a terrible goal for multiple reasons: the number is arbitrary, it focuses on the "doing" over the "feeling," and it involves factors that are not in your full control (like hormones, genetics, access to healthy food, etc). This is the perfect example of a typical, lame LAG goal. You don't even realize it, but you're likely setting yourself up to fail when you set a goal like this. It's why SMART goals are actually a subtly corrosive concept.
Instead, set LEAD goals. Lead goals are the specific habit changes or tasks you do to get to some LAG goal in the future. Examples of LEAD goals include: breaking a sweat every day, eliminating processed sugar, and training with a coach three days a week. They are specific, and most importantly, completely in your control.
A few asterisks about LEAD goals:
Focus on the feeling. Before setting a LEAD goal, ask yourself, "How do I want to FEEL? What LEAD goal would most help me feel that way this coming month?"
Adopt an experimentation mindset. Try a strategy and pay attention to what happens. Does it feel aligned for you? Is it helping you feel great? Are you doing your best? Is there a strategy you could try that could be more easeful, resonant, and effective? Don't be afraid to change your mind and try out new things as you go.
Goals aren't all bad, but it's time for a refreshed approach to incorporating them into our lives. These five guidelines have helped me, and I hope they do the same for you.